Money Over Brothers

Money over b*#@$es has come to be viewed as a derogatory statement by most women because, in addition to the use of the b word, the phrase implies that money has more value than we do. I too felt this way at one point, but the more that I see the fruits of this way of living I’ve actually come to admire the stance and want to suggest that women adopt a similar mindset, a money over brothers, way of thinking, if you will, in which we put ourselves and our desires before men.

I hate to quote Lil Wayne, but I can’t get his line from Get That Money out of my head, in which he says, “Money, money, money is my intuition. Money over b*#@$es, such an easy decision.” The truth is, for men it is an easy decision to put themselves first. For the most part, men are singularly focused. They identify a need, determine a solution, solve the problem, and ignore anything that attempts to distract them while in problem-solving mode. If a man’s goal is to be financially stable, nothing will get in his way—not even you in a strapless, backless and 4-inch heels. Sure, he may take a break from work for the night, but if he isn’t where he wants to be with work, money, or anything else, he won’t add yet another thing to worry about to his plate, i.e. a woman.

This is actually a healthy form of selfishness that women need to embrace themselves. Too often we are sidetracked from writing that paper, meeting that deadline at work, or doing that favor that we promised a friend simply because of the presence of a man. It’s like we re-work the bros before hos mantra in our disfavor, putting brothers before homegirls.

But let’s backtrack for a second because this isn’t about being uncompromising in a relationship, it’s about living this lifestyle before you meet someone so that you don’t allow your partner to become your entire world. If you do, what will you do when the relationship doesn’t last, and in addition to putting your heart back together, you have to rebuild every other aspect of your life, trying to convince your professor to give you a D, pleading with your boss to keep your job, and begging your friends to forgive you?

We need to put ourselves first, primarily because that man may not always be there. There’s a line in I Think I Love My Wife, where the boss of Chris Rock’s character says, “You can lose a lot of money chasing women, but you’ll never lose women, chasing money.” You can lose a lot of time chasing men instead of chasing your passions and capitalizing on opportunities that will allow you to be all that you can be. Furthermore, what can you bring to a relationship if your whole life has been spent preparing for a man, rather than growing as a woman? Part of preparing for a man is becoming a better women, but how can you do that if all of your time is spent on the hunt rather than increasing your own value?

I applaud men’s ability to put earning money, finishing school, and excelling at work, before making commitments to women and even walking down the aisle. It just makes sense. Even in this day and age, women are still being conditioned to want a man before all of these things, and frankly it’s completely backwards.

While you’re single, be single. Focus on you. Get money. Achieve your goals. A man will naturally come along, and when he does, he’ll be an enhancement rather than an encroachment. You can lose a lot of opportunities chasing men, but you’ll never lose men chasing opportunities.

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