Pleading the Fifth

My best friend and I were debating the other day about how obligated you are to tell a person the whole truth when you first meet them. For instance, if you meet someone who interests you while you’re dating someone who’s sort of just there, do you have to tell them that you’re involved? BFF says no since you’re not serious with the other person and telling might scare off the new prospect. My philosophy says yes, the new person should be able to make a decision about dating me based on all of the facts. I don’t have the right to make that choice for them, by leaving out pertinent details.

But what about withholding even more serious information, like the fact that you have a serious illness, or you’ve been raped, or you have a criminal past. When are we obligated to tell these things and when is it considered dishonest if you don’t volunteer this information?

Fortunately, I haven’t been in a situation where I’ve had to reveal an unpleasant fact about myself that I was worried would scare someone off, but I have had occasion where a guy withheld facts about children, baby mamas, jobs, and the like for a rainy day in fear that if I knew the truth from the get go, I would run in the opposite direction.

Likewise, I’ve come across women with incurable STDs who never know when the time is right to tell someone they like or even want to be intimate with that their sexual health is compromised. Ideally, that time would be when you have “the talk,” but is it already too late at that point? Both parties are ready to escalate the relationship, feelings are strong, and this knowledge could be a huge blow to whatever connection has already been established. Read more @Clutch

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